Horrorology

The Hunt

2008-06-29T15:56:00.001-07:00

The video box shows a cool light shining down on a man in the middle of the forest. Of course, this implies that we're going to see a bunch of hunters savagely attacked by aliens. In my mind, I'm seeing "Deliverance meets Predator". Now that would be a cool movie.

Instead of 90 minutes of hunters attacked by aliens we get 88 minutes of a hunter and his dorky kid arguing with a drunk videographer and 2 minutes of people attacked by aliens. Obviously, not as cool. I really expected more of Fritz (Children of the Corn) Kiersch. I mean, COTC gave us Malachi and Isaac and a bunch of other creepy kids. This is just a lot of bland drama and a really misleading box cover.

Fear Itself: In Sickness & Health

2008-06-29T15:45:00.001-07:00

Suck.

That one word pretty much describes not only this episode of Fear Itself, but the entire series so far. At least in the crappy episodes of Masters of Horror we were treated with ample nudity and blood to counterbalance the suckitude. But here we don't get that. We just get suck.

In case you missed it, I didn't like this episode and I haven't really liked the series. But I'll still watch it because there's nothing else on at 10pm on Thursday night and maybe, just maybe, one of the future episodes will be good.

Plasterhead

2008-06-29T15:00:00.001-07:00

I would have loved to have been in the room when they were discussing titles for this flick. I bet Plasterhead just barely beat out Papier-mâchéhead. Actually, Papier-mâchéhead is a title I would have respected. That would have taken balls because you're counting on the audience to be able to make those weird little French symbols over the a and e.

I saw a mini poster for Plasterhead on the back of a cash register at the Blairsville Diner when I went there in April to see the Friday the 13th locations. Of course, that meant I needed to see it, so I broke down and bought the DVD. Overall, it's a pretty average slasher film with one exception. It has the cleanest seemingly abandoned house/actually home to a psychotic killer house in the history of horror. Seriously, I think Plasterhead had maid service because that was one neat abode. Dude's not just a freak, he's a clean freak.

Plasterhead is actually really well shot and professional looking. It's a step up from the normal Direct to DVD horror stuff I usually get suckered into buying and for that, I say job well done.

The Running Man

2008-06-29T13:58:00.001-07:00

I know some wiseacre out there is going to say "The Running Man is sci-fi not horror" but it was written by Stephen King (as Richard Bachman) and features a guy getting a chainsaw to the groin so that's horror enough for me.

I didn't have any great desire to own The Running Man in DVD but I recently decided to buy every Stephen King movie I could find as part of the DeepDiscountDVD/DVDPlanet supersales so I went ahead and ordered it.

I haven't watched this in years. Actually, the last time I watched it I didn't realize Arnold was a bad actor so that shows I was but a wee lad. Despite some terrible puns, the movie still manages to entertain. Plus, Jesse "The Body" Ventura is in it and he has hard. How can you pass that up?

I remember the novella by King/Bachman as being quite different. And better. But then again, I haven't read it in years either so maybe it sucks.

I don't do reviews

2008-06-29T13:27:00.001-07:00

I don't review movies or TV shows. Reviewing them makes watching them a job and that goes against my love for horror. So you won't find thumbs up or down, 4 stars or 0. Just my random ramblings which may or may not have a whole hell of a lot to do with the films themselves.

This template sucks

2008-06-29T13:02:00.001-07:00

I'll find something cool soon. Or maybe not. Does anyone care what the blog looks like?